Jessica Calarco, a professor of sociology at the University of Wisconsin Madison whose research focuses on inequalities in family structures, says the disconnect between millennial dads’ intention and reality can be attributed to two things: “A mismatch of socialization and a mismatch in structure.”
As a society, we haven’t socialized fathers to be caregivers, she says. “We’ve only allowed gender to bend one way. We’ve told young girls they can be anything they want to be. But we’re not encouraging boys to embrace care identities. We’re not giving them baby boys dolls and tea sets.” As a result, “dads can feel underprepared or crowded out, like they don’t belong in caring roles.”