Bad gifts make recipients feel misunderstood, and givers feel like failures. Here’s how to avoid making a bad choice.

Quoted: Gifts you already own and like. Recipients liked gifts better when the giver owned them, too, according to six studies published together last year in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. “There is something intimate about sharing—think of sharing a meal or a bed or watching a movie together,” says Evan Polman, assistant professor of marketing at Wisconsin School of Business at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and lead author on the study. “The same thing happens when people share a material item. It brings the giver and receiver together and gives them something to talk about.”